You are a Muffin By Exeunt Press

Instruments: 2d6





Game Description 


This game is about being a small muffin (or different pastry) and looking at all the customers that enter into the cafe before you are chosen and eaten!



Game Content Warnings 

These are content warnings that are from the game prompts and are present in all playthroughs.





Playthrough Content Warnings 

These are content warnings specific to this playthrough only.



Game Playthrough

Word Count: 1,548     Played: Nov 14, 2022





Pastry


Name: Ronni 

Pastry Type: 

Roll: 3, French Macaron, Rose flavor

Description:

A singular pale pink macaron, with two lines of hard icing drizzled atop, with a dried rose petal pressed in the center, and flaked with edible gold leaf. 




Customer 1



Arrival


Roll: 4, The Regular

What do they look like?

A tired looking man with a comb-over and a white beard.

What are they wearing? 

Horn rimmed, tortoise shell glasses, and a green bow-tie

Are they relaxed or in a hurry? 

They look relaxed

Do they linger or order now?

They order right away, they always get the same drink

What do they bring with them? 

A thick book from the library.


Order


Roll: 2 +1 = 3

Flat White

RV 1 

Roll: 2, 3 Safe for now , 

He orders a ham and cheese kolache instead.


Seat


Roll: 4, South low-top table 

They sit and read the book they brought with them and enjoy the time to themselves. 


Items Consumed


He ate the kolache while reading the thick book.


Leaving 


Roll: 4

He stayed for a while after eating the kolache and nursing the coffee. After he had finished his drink he waved to the staff and said, “I’ll be back tomorrow!”


Becoming Stale


Roll: 3

Staleness: 3/50



Customer 2



Arrival


Roll: 3, The Worker

What do they look like?

A tired looking woman with bags under her eyes and her makeup done a little sloppy.

What are they wearing?

She is wearing a blue worker’s vest for the massive store chain.

Are they relaxed or in a hurry?

She is in a hurry and keeps checking her watch. 

Do they linger or order now?

She orders immediately.

What do they bring with them?

She has a phone, and her watch but nothing else, not even a purse. 


Order


Roll: 7, Latte Macchiato

RV 1

Roll: 6, 1, Safe for now

She orders a croissant with butter. 


Seat Taken 


Roll: 2, South High-top Table

She tapps tapps tapps away on her phone the entire time she is eating, and looks around every once and a while. She seems to be waiting for someone. 


Items Consumed


She took a long time to eat the croissant and dipped it into the coffee as she ate. 


Leaving


Roll: 3, 

No one leaves


Becoming Stale


Roll: 6

Total: 9/50



Customer 3


Roll: 5, First time Visitor

What do they look like?

A short nervous man with dark hair and broad shoulders. 

What are they wearing?

They are wearing clothing that is too large for them and a poor haircut.

Are they relaxed or in a hurry?

They seem extremely anxious but not in a hurry.

Do they linger or order now?

They linger for a long time before ordering.

What do they bring with them?

They have several spiral notebooks and pens of various colors.


Order


Roll: 3, Flat White 

RV: 1

Roll: 1, 3, Safe for now

They order a blueberry muffin, a croissant, and a biscotti. 


Seat Taken 


Roll: 6, South Low coffee table 

They are drinking slowly and start writing in one of the several notebooks. 


Items Consumed 


He worked his way through all the food slowly, and got up a second time to get more coffee.


Leaving


Roll: 5, No one leaves 


Becoming Stale


Roll: 4

Total: 13/50



Customer 4


Roll: 5, First time Visitor

What do they look like?

A tall woman with short hair and a cane.

What are they wearing?

She’s wearing large hoop earrings, and a long skirt.

Are they relaxed or in a hurry?

She seems to be relaxed, 

Do they linger or order now?

She takes her time before ordering.

What do they bring with them?

She has a messenger bag on her shoulder. 


Order


Roll: 2, Steamed Milk

RV: 2

Roll: 2,2, safe for now

She only orders the drink


Seat Taken 


Roll: 1 North High-top table

She drinks her drink quickly but stays for a while to work on her laptop, which she pulled from her messenger bag.


Items Consumed 


Her drink is practically gone by the time she sits down and starts typing away.


Leaving


Roll: 5, No one leaves


Becoming Stale


Roll: 4

Total: 17/50



Customer 5


Roll: 1, The Writer

What do they look like?

An elderly woman with long thick hair in a ponytail.

What are they wearing?

She’s wearing a business suit with the top button unbuttoned

Are they relaxed or in a hurry?

She is in a hurry and taps her foot while waiting in line

Do they linger or order now?

She orders immediately

What do they bring with them?

She has a briefcase, a laptop, and an accordion folder.


Order


Roll: 7, Latte Macchiato

RV: 2

Roll: 1,6, Safe for now

She orders a croissant with her drink.


Seat Taken 


Seat: 2 South High-top Table

She sits across from the worker and they begin to talk, the older woman taking out the laptop and typing the entire time.


Items Consumed 


She eats slowly  and seems to forget that she even has food half the time before taking small bites. 


Leaving


Roll: 3 No one leaves


Becoming Stale


Roll: 6

Total: 23/50



Customer 6


Roll: 1, The Writer

What do they look like?

A young person with dyed hair, piercings and torn clothes.

What are they wearing?

Their clothing looks old, but in a chic way. They are covered in smudges of ink and pencil.

Are they relaxed or in a hurry?

They are relaxed

Do they linger or order now?

They linger looking over the options and counting their money.

What do they bring with them?

A small pencil case and one tiny little notebook.


Order


Roll: 2, Steamed Milk

RV: 2

Roll: 2, 6

They order the blueberry macarons.


Seat Taken 


Seat: 3, North Low Top table

They are sitting by themselves and immediately take out the notebook to start scribbling something in it. 


Items Consumed 


They inhale the macaron and wait a long time until the coffee has practically gone cold before drinking it. 


Leaving


Roll: 2

The worker and the writer stand up, shake hands, and both leave out the door with one another. 


Becoming Stale


Roll: 4

Total: 27/50



Customer 7


Roll: 3, The Worker

What do they look like?

A tall middle aged man.

What are they wearing?

A button up shirt, pressed pants, and shiny shoes.

Are they relaxed or in a hurry?

They are pretty relaxed

Do they linger or order now?

He lingers and takes his time looking over all the pastries and drinks.

What do they bring with them?

He hasn’t brought anything other than his wallet.


Order


Roll: 4 Cappuccino

RV: 3

Roll: 5, 4, Safe for now

They order a simple biscuit.


Seat Taken 


Seat:  6, South low coffee table

He tries to strike up a conversation with the nervous man, but it doesn’t go anywhere. The nervous man keeps responding in simple one word sentences, and eventually the worker takes the hint.


Items Consumed 


He takes his time eating the biscuit and coffee.


Leaving


Roll: 4

No one leaves


Becoming Stale


Roll: 3

Total: 30/50



Customer 8


Roll: 1, The Writer

What do they look like?

A large short woman, with curly hair, and half moon glasses.

What are they wearing?

They are wearing a cardigan and sneakers.

Are they relaxed or in a hurry?

She is pretty relaxed

Do they linger or order now?

She knows exactly what she wants and orders immediately. 

What do they bring with them?

She has her purse, phone and laptop.


Order


Roll: 5, Caffe Americano

RV: 3

Roll: 1, 6

She orders two chocolate muffins


Seat Taken 


Seat: 1, North High-top table

She sits across from the other writing, pulls out her laptop and starts to get to work immediately. 


Items Consumed 


She eats one muffin as soon as she’s settled and picks at the other one while she is writing.


Leaving


Roll: 5

No one leaves


Becoming Stale


Roll: 3

Total: 33/50



Customer 9


Roll: 5, First Time visitor

What do they look like?

An average height person, with short hair and long nails.

What are they wearing?

They are wearing many chunky necklaces and bracelets. 

Are they relaxed or in a hurry?

They seem to be in a hurry

Do they linger or order now?

But they don’t know what they want so they linger looking and deciding on everything.

What do they bring with them?

They have 3 books with them and a laptop.


Order


Roll: 4, Cappuccino

RV: 3

Roll: 1, 2, ME! 

They ordered one singular rose macaron: me!


Seat Taken 


Seat: 5 North Low coffee table

They sit down on the couch by themselves, splay their books across the table, pull up the laptop and start typing. 


Items Consumed 


How fresh are you?

Not as fresh as I once was, but still not yet stale. 30/50 freshness

How did you taste?

Delicate, refined, and just a hint of sweetness. Perfect to wash down with the coffee.

Did they enjoy you?

Yes, but they thought I was a little overpriced. They aren’t certain they would order another one, but they don’t regret buying me. 







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